Friday, October 22, 2010

Entertain Yourself.

I feel like I'm old enough to use the phrase "in my day." For example, IN MY DAY, entertainers didn't have to apologize for being entertaining. Case in point, this recent headline about three stars of the hit show Glee. All three individuals are in their twenties but play high school aged students on the show, which has attracted a fan base beyond a high school audience. They posed for GQ magazine and before the issue has even hit the stands, apologies are already being issued (half-hearted as they may be) by the stars for the provocative nature of the photos. I suppose next, Playboy will issue apologies for printing risque photos. (Wait, that was Kim Kardashian's line...)

Anyone familiar with GQ magazine wouldn't blink an eye. Those offended by it are obviously still reading it...keep living that double standard! Keep telling yourself you're taking that bullet for Moral America.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My Need

In the past 2 days I have received offers from friends for a new cell phone and new headphones.
Have I mentioned that I need an Alexander McQueen knuckle duster clutch??

Seriously, I'm getting new stuff this week, I swear. Starting with the headphones. These pups will not sustain me much longer. Not after listening to Maggie's noise cancelers. Complete with ridicule of my music choice! Balkan brass bands are my thing right now, you can't take THAT away, too.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Muzak

Sometime last spring I wrote about coming to the realization that I need new things around the house, like a new hairbrush and new tennis shoes for my husband. I feel like the time of the season is upon is once again.

I love to shop. I spend too much time perusing the net for new items and sales, and I'm damn good at it, too. I always have some sort of coupon code, point system, miles, cash back or other gimmick working to my advantage. The kicker here is that this is generally for items that I want and not necessarily need, like accessories. I stalk items I want until I find the lowest possible price and save myself hundreds of dollars on really amazing purses. My husband tells me that since the item is not 'needed,' it's not really 'saving.' My answer to this is that if the item is going to show up at my house regardless of need, be glad that I am saving you hundreds of dollars in the process. Think I shouldn't be considering handbags that price in the hundreds? My answer to this is that I can barely (and I mean barely) wear shoes. Most women pride themselves on their footwear. I have to be grateful anything is wearable, let alone matches and also looks good on top of it. Of course, they rarely match or look good...so I have to take this frustration out on something, preferably something that draws the eye up...and is not my rack.

I digress.

I will go to great lengths for a handbag. I will stalk it like a stealthy cheetah on Planet Earth and snipe it on sale, getting bonus miles and free shipping on top of it. So why, why, why is it that when I truly NEED something, I am the last person on earth to realize it? Case in point: my headphones at work.

I bought these beauties at Wal-Mart on Christmas break in 2003. I had just purchased my first iPod that fall and left it in my dorm room over break like an idiot. I had to resort to using my discman. The horror. On top of it, we had no headphones to speak of at my mom's, so off to Wally World I went. One Nelly Furtado "Folklore" CD and a pair of $4 headphones later, I was rockin'...and I still am.
I have gone through many pairs of those crappy iPod ear buds since then, but the Koss (that's their brand name) have outlasted them. The music never crackles and is always playing evenly in both ears. The right earphone is held on to the headband with Scotch tape, which sometimes rips out my hair. The left earphone foam (which has magically not disintegrated) is barely hanging on and is almost just a ring of foam...but they still make sweet music for me!

The Koss are the butt of many jokes around the office. One coworker even brought me an old pair of her headphones (not held together by Scotch tape) but they were a little crackly and I feel that I get more ear coverage/surround sound with the Koss.
I tend to crank my music, especially when everyone leaves the office. Often times, it's just Manicure Maggie and I around here as other coworkers commute and come before 9 to avoid traffic. This side of the office is generally barren, so we can't bother too many people by cranking our Lady Gaga. (OK, so that's probably just my musical choice.) Since I'm a music cranker, I feel that ear buds are not for me, not to mention they're ridiculously uncomfortable. I have been told I need to be in the market for noise-canceling headphones. I'm looking for something that will allow me to blare my music for my listening enjoyment, while not bothering others, and most of all not damage my hearing. So, I'm looking for, as Maggie would say, magical unicorn dust.

So again, the more someone tells me I need to do something, the more I don't do it. Today's drug of choice? Seven year old, $4, Koss headphones from Wal-Mart that are LITERALLY held together by a string. 

Two and a half years after I brought these puppies to the office in this Scotch-taped condition, I'm starting to get the feeling that it might be time to not only let them go, but to upgrade to a better listening experience. 

High on my wish list are the Beats by Dr. Dre headphones...why do I like these? Could it be their 'powered amplification?' Their precision engineering to reveal 'the full sound of today's digital music'? Nope. I like them because the name Dr. Dre is stamped on them. Anything endorsed by a doctor MUST be good, especially a doctor of music that spins beats in a Dr. Pepper commercial. 'Trust me, I'm a doctor.' Because nothing says 'knowledgeable' like a man who goes triple platinum with an album titled 'The Chronic.' 

Am I going to drop $300 on the Beats? If you've been reading, you know I don't take medical advice...so chances are, I will not be enjoying the full sound of today's digital music through these phones anytime soon. Not when there are $300 purses calling my name. (And, to be frank, $3,000 ones, too, but those would be noticed by a certain someone on our bank statement...)

My point on this, the third day of my irritating habits week, is that after 2+ years of jabs at the Koss, I believe I am now ready to upgrade. It takes me years to get on board, people. 




And a note on my cell phone...the plastic of the faceplate is peeling off in a light brown, flaky mess.